Now we read on a story, whose hair is the wrong
color from hair black as ebony to blonde as the sun. It’s Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
The evil queen wants her step-daughter, Snow White
to be killed. She sends her guard with a jester for witness to execute Snow
White, but she easily escaped into the forest.
Snow White safely went to the nearest cottage with
the help of Why the Owl and a Yellow Brick Toad. (No, I’m not making this up,
and it’s not an All That sketch.)
The 7 Dwarfs came back to their cottage to spot Snow
White; they are Clumsy, wimpy, bossy….
“There’s Tipsy, and Queasy. There’s Surly, and
Remorseful!
-Bart and Lisa Simpsons at Duff Garden.
The evil queen found out through her magic mirror
that Snow White is alive. She tries to kill her with a strap while disguising
herself as an old lady, but she saved. So the evil queen disguise as a carney tries
to kill her with an apple through bobbing for apples, and “succeed”.
Obviously, Snow White got saved by the prince from
Cinderella- I mean Prince Daring from Sleeping Beauty- I mean Prince
Maximillion or King Maximillion. (Seriously, is this the only design for prince
to reuse three times?) She isn’t awakening by kiss, but by one word she thought
last only said by a king.
Snow White was one of those stories I’ve grown to
hate, starting with the obvious Disney version. Something I could live without,
yet it’s the very first animated feature length film, so it’s impossible to
remove it.
Many other versions have tried their versions, and
mostly are forgotten. Even the German Live-action version of Snow White was
mostly shot for shot, ironically, the Disney version was a half shot for shot
from an earlier version that he watched. This version of Snow White isn’t any
better. Nothing has proven better, I question the inclusion of Why, and we don’t
know who any of the dwarves names are aside from Clumsy. The Dwarves show their
one personality, but their personality would have more than one name such as
their leader could be Doc, Bossy, Jerky, Cranky, Grampy, Pappy, A Holey,
Trumpy, Mandarky, Villainy, Neutrally, Papa Human Smurf, Stricty, or Surly…
“Hey, Surly looks out for one man, SURLY!”
-Surly from The Simpsons
I can’t believe I’m saying this, but this could be
worse than Happily Ever After and Snow White Christmas. You read that right; it’s
one of the rare animated films that are worse than a Filmation films. One of
them that cost the company for being release around the time Disney’s Snow White
was rereleased in theater. At least you know the name of the Dwarvelles and the
Friendly Giants, they got a better owl to work off the villain, Dom DeLuise and
Larry D. Mann (Yukon Cornelius’ voice actor) is a better mirror, and Malcolm
McDowell is a menacing villain for semi-weak reason.
I could say this is a standard Snow White story, but
Disney’s Snow White has reaches into “The Standard” that anything lowers than
that is immediate bad. Any good Snow White that’s better than the Disney
version is incredibly rare. I can’t say the Rankin Bass version is the worst of
the Snow White, as there’s plenty others such as Happily N’ever After 2, but
for me, this isn’t worth mirroring back. If you want a funny one, then go watch
Animaniac’s.
How much longer do I have to review this series? I
have one episode left? Woo-hoo! Oh boy, I hope this one doesn’t have a previous
version that Disney did. What are the chances they would make their own version
that came out at the same year as this version?
Robin Hood!
Robin Hood?
*me screaming as I grabbed my laptop and twist it on
a pole. The screen cut to Technical Difficulty.*
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