Rankin Bass' Swiss Family Robinson

Just sit right back, and you’ll hear a tale. The tale of a fateful trip, that started with…the Swiss Family Robinson? OK, the full non-musical version. Despite synopsis would be shorter than the song.

The Swiss Family Robinson got shipwrecked, and crashed safely at a group of rocks at an island nearby.

5 years later, the youngest one hasn’t gone through vocal puberty. A Pelican has a note on its leg to reveal another strand passenger. They found the passenger named Emily Montrose, as she rides on ostrich. The ostrich’s ride them all back to the family Robinson, as Emily’s ostrich deal with a snake.

I was aware of the story of Swiss Family Robinson with a family trapped on an island, though I didn’t have such an interest. There was a Disney version, but it’s one of many live-action films that people mentioned the least aside from the Ostrich Rider. Even then, Disney already had an Ostrich rider then with Harpo Marx in a Polo Match then, and has a video game version of an Ostrich rider now with Prince of Persia. Hell, even the book cover of this episode would have the ostrich and the youngest boy. That’s how small their impression is!

The description of the Swiss Family Robinson is the example of a “perfect family”, which people have grown less favor for good reason; they’re less realistic and relatable. These families can be easily compared to The Brady Bunch, The House on Prarie Hill, Stepford Wives, and all the family in 50’s live TV shows. Any other stories involving a small family would either have cabin fever without pancakes, have extreme melodrama, go insane for hunger, or deal with a Black Puff of smoke.

This is why families in films became more relatable by being mostly dysfunctional or otherwise. Families such as Duckman, the McCalister in Home Alone, The Incredibles, and the Simpsons. Speaking of which, which version of Swiss Family Robinson was Bart talking about? 

“It’ll be like the Swiss Family Robinson, only with more cursing!”

-Bart Simpsons.

This film, as well as this story is boring. The family interaction isn’t interesting, the brothers interacting aren’t.

Emily started to get interesting, but by time she got connected to the Robinson, she just mostly stood there. Granted, there’s nothing she can do against a snake, but her time alone in the tropical island could have made her either crazily savage or female Tarzan. We rarely ever get a Jungle Gal, that isn’t a Morphing Japanese School Girl voiced by Rika from Digimon season 3.

Maybe I just can’t get interested in any Robinson, as proven with Lost In Space and Meet The Robinson. The only Robinson I can be interested is Edward G. Robinson (OK, less on him, but more on Chief Wiggum) and Tony Robinson of Blackadder. Just skip this Swiss Family Robinson, you’re not missing much!

Next up is Sleeping Beauty. Please this better be a step up from this!